It has truly been a
season of change, adaptation and growth for Byron and I. When I look back and
reflect on the past year and on the past six months, in particular, it’s
amazing to see how far we’ve come – spiritually, emotionally and mentally – and
to see how God has led us to this exact place at this exact moment in time. If
you’ve followed our blog posts up to this point, you know exactly what our
journey has been like so far and have shared in all the ups and downs we’ve
experienced since setting foot on African soil. As is the case with anybody
sharing their journey through a blog, at the time that we write each post, we
share our emotions and thoughts as they are felt right in that moment. Often,
during the ‘downs’, Byron and I wonder, “What’s the point of all this?” or why
things have to be so difficult. Often, it seemed as though every facet of life
in Zambia, as newly-wed volunteers, was testing us in some way, whether it had
to do with our work, our dealings with ‘official’ stuff like our car or work
permits, or even our relationships (both external and with each other!). But, I
can honestly say, it’s only in hindsight and only from the perspective of
someone looking back at our journey, that I can see how countless, invaluable
lessons were imparted on us all along the way.
Patience. Grace.
Sacrifice. Service. Faith. Some more patience … All have taken on new meaning.
I have learned more about each one of these in the past six months than I
otherwise would have, and in a way that could only have been taught to me by
having gone through what we have since being in Africa. Even though six months
is a relatively short amount of time, with everything we’ve experienced and
learned, I can’t help but feel that these past six months were to prepare us
for the six months that lay ahead. As we grow deeper into our respective roles
and learn more about African culture, I can so clearly see how these lessons will
continue to be so important to us.
My deeper understanding
of each of these has resulted from both my dealings with locals at our Service
Centre or in the communities that we support, and from experiences in my
personal relationships. I think about the times when, after long, difficult and
frustrating days at the Service Centre, both Byron and I felt so hopeless and
felt as though, despite the effort of Hands to equip and build capacity into
the locals, there was no way the people of Africa could ever reach the point
where they would able to effectively care for their own. It was during those moments,
when I found myself doubting our (both Hands’ and Byron and I’s) impact here and
our ability to truly make a lasting difference, that I was reminded of the level
of faith and patience we are called to have when doing the work we do. This
reality was best described to us recently by someone at Hands who’s been around
long enough to know a thing or two about our challenges.
“The
key is to remember that our work isn’t racehorse work. Strangely, our work is
truly best accomplished through prayer, patience, relationship and very slow,
tedious steps. As urgent as this work is, it cannot be rushed.”
As much as we want to
produce results and to see the locals we work with transformed into organized, productive
little workers, we are learning that the fruits of our labour may not be seen
for a long, long time. We are truly learning what it means to have patience
and, above all else, learning to remain faithful when things appear to be a
disaster! This means remaining confident in our decision to come to Africa to
serve the poorest of the poor, and staying true to my personal belief that
Byron and I are being used in the exact way, in the exact place, we are meant
to be used! And of course, all this is easier said than done, especially for my
super A-type, super results-oriented, husband.
This level of faith extends
well beyond just the work we are doing but into our personal lives as well.
Fears about the future still plague us. I still worry about our future family
and when the right time to start one is; whether we’ll stay in Africa after our
year is up, go home to Calgary, or begin another journey somewhere else;
whether sacrificing time with our families and friends back home is the right
thing to do, etc. For both of us (especially for Byron), all our worrying can
be exhausting sometimes! What I’ve come to realize in the past six months is
that while planning for the future in a thoughtful and intentional way is
important, at this stage in our lives, it’s almost impossible. Our emotions and
our perspectives change almost daily! The ups and the downs will continue to
come and will continue to shape our experience here. It’s definitely going to
require a full-on leap of faith to lead us to where we’re supposed to be. In
the meantime, we’re just trying to not take for granted all the experiences we
go through (as joyful or frustrating as they may be) and to move through life
one step at a time.
- Diane
happy anni
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